Between German Wieners and German Wieners
by myoue
Summary: Working in fast food is hard, especially when it's abundant with sausages, buns, and new kids who can't take a dick joke. Levi soon finds himself unfortunately stuck between german wieners and german wieners. Modern!AU


It's 5:50 AM when Levi drags himself into work, and he's trudging through the empty store front because he can't be bothered to go around through the employee's entrance in the back. It's empty because he's 300% positive there isn't a single person who's awake at this time besides him, let alone a person who's awake and feels ridiculous enough to want a hot dog in the wee hours of the morning when not even the sun itself has managed to get it's ass up into the sky. Even though he only comes in this early on Thursdays, Levi can't help but deeply regret the fact that he put "Anytime" as his available hours on the employee application. What in the fresh hell was he thinking.

This is the beautiful life of customer service, he thinks as he shoves his things into the employee-given locker and proceeds to kick away the grimy shoes left on the floor that his coworkers have the gall to leave behind. It's dirty and smells of drugs in here, and Levi wants to just throw this entire room into a parking lot sized pool of Mr. Clean Scrubbing Detergent, or maybe some holy water. Although, that would just get rid of the dirt and the smell, it wouldn't get rid of his filthy coworkers.

Erwin, his manager, walks by with an almost annoyingly cheery skip in his step as he raps on the wall with his knuckles and pokes his head into the room. "Levi, hi, you're on cash right now," he says, which is redundant because Levi is not stupid.

"Yeah, right on it," he replies more than is sarcastically necessary, while trying and failing to stifle an oncoming yawn as he watches Erwin leave as quickly as he came in. Levi fixes on his uniform and heads to the store front while only half-attempting to keep his eyes open to avoid walking into walls.

There isn't a customer for twenty minutes into his shift, and Levi is almost ready to fall asleep right then and there on the counter. It's only until after a single customer comes in asking for a diet soda and that's it that Levi begins to count sheep behind his eyelids.

The next two hours are a blur and just as uneventful. Opening the store by himself has got to be the most boring waste of lifespan, and he finds himself almost wishing for 9 o'clock to come since that's when the next shift starts. And even though it's the same guy that he can only just barely stand every time, Levi is thinking that any human contact besides tired and ungrateful customers at this point is better than nothing.

He's absentmindedly sorting the napkin dispenser when 9 o'clock rolls around and Levi feels a sudden tap on his shoulder, which is strange because why is he being touched. He turns around ready with an impertinent scowl and maybe a slap to their face, only to see someone unexpectedly unfamiliar staring at him and he's a little caught off guard.

"You're not Auruo," is the first thing Levi says to this kid whom he's never seen before, and it's probably not the best thing he could have said as a first impression but he figures the constant customer service has worn him out in niceties.

"Yeah, no, sorry. Hi, I'm new," the boy says and holds his hand out like this is some kind of business transaction. Levi is giving him a weird look as he tentatively shakes his hand.

"New?" Levi says as he lets go of the hand, glancing up and down at the uniform in front of him and looking for a nametag.

"Oh, my name's Eren," the boy says, looking at Levi with sheepish eyes and shifting a little on his feet. "I haven't got a nametag yet, though. Sorry. You'll just have to remember my name."

That's going to be annoying, Levi thinks with a slight grimace. Eren has been smiling this whole time and he can't help but question there being a screw or two loose in his head. No one is ever this excited at having a job in customer service. Unless this is his first one, in which case God help him, and Levi can't wait to be the one to show the horrors of it all.

"I'm Levi," Levi says. He's not much of a talker, but Eren is looking at him with expectant eyes and—dare he say—an almost eagerly jittery stance. "Well, welcome to the behind-the-scenes of Wienerschnitzel," Levi says with an unsubtle indifferent edge.

"Thanks." Eren smiles an oblivious smile. When Levi just stands there and doesn't say anything else, Eren quickly blurts out getting right to the point, "I think you're supposed to teach me about the store?"

Levi's leaning his palm against the counter and giving the kid the most grimacing look he can muster.

"This your first shift?"

"Yes!"

Levi scoffs, mostly at himself, because he just has to have the unfortunate luck to work a shift on the newbie's first day.

He moves away from the counter and gestures in front of the space. "How about you take cash for now. I'll get the stuff for you and you can just watch and learn how to do it."

At first, Eren has on the most confused expression, but then is looking at Levi like this is a terrible idea. Too bad, because he's really not in the mood for teaching stupid shit right now. He figures it's easy enough to learn how to fill up a soda cup or put a sausage between two pieces of bread and hand it to a customer since this is a fast food restaurant and not a five-star maid café.

But Eren nods hesitantly and moves to stand in front of the register. He stares blankly at the buttons. "Can you teach me how to work the cash, at least?"

Levi is narrowing his eyes and giving a deep sigh because he figures he'll relent just this once. He stands next to Eren and finds (annoyingly) that he has to reach up and lean over his shoulder.

He points carelessly at the buttons. "If they say 'chili dog' you press chili dog, if they say 'diet coke' you press diet coke. Press total for total. Enter the amount of money they give you. Press confirm and don't hit yourself when the cashbox opens. It will calculate the change for you, but you still need to count out the bills and cents so don't mess that up or it'll be on me."

When Levi finishes his half-assed explanation, Eren looks almost comically determined as if trying to hide the fact that he didn't catch a single word Levi just said.

"If you get confused, just ask me," Levi says, deciding against being a _total_ asshole.

It's completely dead and there are no customers in sight, not even outside, so Levi lets Eren take this time study the positions of the buttons in silence.

Levi falls against the counter, wondering what happened to Auruo. Did that fucker finally manage to get fired? Or, more likely, he probably just got his shifts rearranged. This does seem to happen quite often with people who work consistently with him. Oh well, Levi thinks it's not too bad that that ugly mug got replaced with a fresh face. A fresh face indeed, who looks like he'd be better working as a model in a fashion catalogue or something.

"Is this your first job?" Levi asks because he doesn't really care anymore for interrupting Eren's study session.

Eren doesn't look like he minds being interrupted either. "No. I used to part-time at a book store with my friend but I got bored of that." He continues to say something about only deciding to work here because the name sounded German and familiar to him that Levi only half-heartedly takes in.

He wouldn't mind working in a book store though, Levi thinks. Although, that's rich coming from him since he curses this establishment every day that he works here and yet hasn't the will to leave yet. If it's anything, he's almost counting the days down to finally ditching this place once and for all. "So this is your first time in food?" he continues.

"Yeah," Eren says enthusiastically like he's expecting to be able to sneak free food every chance he gets. Levi really badly wants to be the one that tells him everything's counted, but doesn't in favour of answering Eren's, "How bout you?"

"I've been here for a year and a half," Levi says wryly and snipped. "But I've been working everywhere since I was fourteen."

Eren looks a little in awe before a customer comes in and he turns around nervously to greet them with an awkward smile. He takes their order which consisted of things that one really shouldn't be eating at 9:30 in the morning, but Levi has to get it anyway and he feels Eren's eyes trail after him and taking in his every move. Levi places the finished order on the counter with the utmost diligence despite looking like he's just finished cleaning up a rather tedious murder.

"Thank you, have a nice—" Eren begins to say before the customer abruptly turns and heads out the door. "...day."

It's the first disheartened look Levi sees, and he's sure he's only going to see more as the day drags on. "Don't do that," he tells Eren, "It's annoying."

"Do what?"

"Look like you care about customers," Levi continues as he leans again, this time on the back counter. "They're not worth it."

Eren blinks. "I wasn't." He begins to adjust the visor he's wearing on his head and attempts to flatten down his messy hair. "It's called customer service, isn't it?"

Levi crosses his arms in front of him and clicks his tongue. "We don't receive tip. Our pay isn't impacted by repeat customers. Conversations are limited to less than small talk. So why do you care about acting fake nice to customers?"

Eren looks bemused for a bit before saying wistfully, "I don't know? It's the principle of it."

Levi stands there and he's starting to get annoyed at this kid with his stupidly unnecessary wishful thinking and feel-good attitude. This is why he doesn't like talking to pure-hearted kids who haven't experienced how static the real world actually is, or even had a proper job where he gets to experience being personally shit on at least once an hour. A book store is enclosed in the magical wonderment of soft-spoken and open-minded people. A fast food joint, however, gets him in line with a lot more snotty bitches who are only here because it's convenient and inexpensive and require the manners of a public toilet seat.

"Work here for longer than three hours and your principles will mean shit, you know that right?" Levi says with a purposefully harsh bite to his tone.

"That's longer than I expected, to be honest."

Levi stops to raise an eyebrow, but doesn't really think about it any longer when Eren turns to him and says, "So how much free food am I allowed to take?"

And it's at this point that Levi knows it's going to be a long day.

By 11 AM, Levi goes on his lunch break and leaves Eren alone, reassuring him with things like "It's not even that busy" and "I'll be back in an hour", and he turns and walks out the employee backroom without a second glance at Eren's worried face. On the way out, he sneaks a bag of fries and heads towards the back of the parking lot to light a cigarette and eat while regretting his life choices.

He may or may not have accidentally dozed off because he opens his eyes and the first thing he sees is a rather full parking lot, which might not really be saying anything since the parking lot fits about two cars. He jogs a little back to the restaurant regardless.

When he comes to the front, he's bombarded by loud chatter, customers lined up all along the counter, and half-prepared food items all over the place. He sees Eren fiddling with the cash in jerky movements and trying to reason with a rather irate customer.

"What in the fuck are you doing." Levi glares and saunters up beside Eren, ignoring the customer. Eren looks at him like he's god sent.

"Please help me," is all that Eren says, looking like he's about ready to cry.

Levi lets out a heavy breath and realizes he's been gone for nearly an hour and forty-five minutes when he glances up towards the clock in the corner. That was his fault, he presumes.

He lets Eren work through the customers and the cash as he fetches all the hotdogs and whatever the fuck else there is. Although, he doesn't understand how Eren could have such a problem with getting the food because a corn dog is a corn dog and cheese burger is a fucking cheeseburger. That's all there is to it.

When the lines and the customers have died down after the lunch hour, Eren slumps against the counter and breathes out an exhausted sigh. "I didn't know it'd get this hectic," he says into the plastic table.

Levi only rolls his eyes. "It wasn't even that busy. You just suck at this."

Eren whips back to look at him. "Hey, you didn't even teach me how to do anything! I had to figure it all out by myself, and I just barely managed."

While Eren may have a point there, Levi thinks it's probably better not to further provoke the kid's obvious lack of talent for handling fast food and rowdy customers. "You look like you were about to have your balls chopped off by that one guy."

Eren's face reddens a bit, which could be due to anger or embarrassment or Levi's foul use of language. "Can you please not talk about my balls like that?"

Levi has to chuckle at this. "Oh, forgive me. I understand your sensitivity towards your balls."

Eren just blanches, looking like he's only barely following where this conversation is going. "Excuse me? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, nothing. It just might be hard to differentiate your German wiener from all the other German wieners here. Don't want to accidentally serve yours to a customer."

Waiting for a reaction from Eren has officially made it to the list of highlights in his history of working here, and seeing Eren's face brighten and glower as he failingly tries to hide his extreme embarrassment is the icing on top of the cake.

Eren turns away as he sputters something for a few seconds before getting out, "A-Are you being serious right now?"

Levi only throws him a completely shit-eating grin. "If you want me to be."

He's not being serious, of course. Sexually harassing new coworkers might be on a list in the employee handbook of Things Not To Do, but Levi can't help it around such a vulnerable target. It's surprisingly satisfying to do this to a cute kid whose looks really aren't all that bad when compared to someone like Auruo. Also, cute new kid Eren may or may not have a nice ass while he's covering his face ashamedly in his hands and leaning (suggestively) over the counter, bending his hips in such a way that he really should be more self-aware of.

When a sudden onset of customers come, Levi snaps himself out of staring obnoxiously long at the curves of the back of Eren's pants and the folds between his thighs, and he has to tell himself to go and rearrange the cups on the back counter that got spilled over during the lunch hour mayhem. He wants to curse himself.

The rest of the time is spent in almost-silence except for phrases here and there about order specifics, and when Eren is about to go on his break at two-thirty, he hovers around the backburner where Levi rounds in on him.

"What are you doing?"

Eren jumps a little and gives a slightly nervous laugh. "I, uh, was just going to maybe take a bag of fries or something? Like you did earlier."

"Oh you saw that, huh?" Levi chortles even though it's not like he was trying to be completely inconspicuous about it or anything.

"Yeah. Actually can I take a chili cheese dog? And a Dr. Pepper?" Eren already practically has the tongs in his hands and a napkin ready before Levi can even say anything.

And Levi just sighs and briefly looks over his shoulder for a sign of Erwin or anyone else. "Sure. Just make sure to tell me next time, okay?" Eren nods furiously as he picks up the sausage and begins to pile on cheese and other gross condiments onto it. He looks sufficiently distracted so Levi's not sure if Eren hears him when he continues under his breath, "Because I never know when your fingers are going to get sneaky."

Eren hesitates in his movements for only a fraction of a second, as if deciding if he should feel unsettled by that comment, or if he's unsure he even heard it in the first place. Either way, Eren has his finished hot dog in hand and brushes past Levi without looking him in the eye to pick up his can of soda from the fridge and he rushes out the door without a back glance.

In the hour that Eren is supposed to be gone for, Levi methodically wipes down the counters and the cashboxes and the store front tables and anything else that is wipe-able. He rearranges everything in the store so neatly and orderly that it actually bothers him. Even with the odd customer coming in that he's forced to deal with, it's rather boring and Levi doesn't remember this place feeling quite this quiet even when working alone before.

He's totally not anticipating Eren's return as he hears the store front door open and in waltzes Eren with a rather uplifted smile on his face compared to when he left. He finishes off the last few drops of his can and then chucks both it and his used napkin in the garbage at the front. Levi doesn't even want to acknowledge his presence as Eren comes around the counter, fixing his collar and unhooking the visor from his belt to wrap around his head again.

They both stand in uninterrupted silence with Levi slumped almost protectively against the cashbox. Eren stands off to the side and he can see Eren eyeing him suspiciously in his periphery vision.

"You're five minutes late," Levi bristles, deciding against not bringing it up. He doesn't actually give a shit what Eren was doing dilly-dallying on his break. He just wants to mention it and doesn't really care what Eren has to say.

"Tell that to your mom last night."

Except for that.

The air becomes still and dead and Levi doesn't move for a few seconds so he can comprehend what in the fuck just transpired between the two of them.

"What."

Levi turns to give Eren the most disbelieving aggravated glare, and he would very much like an explanation. However, he would have been able to put this easily behind him if Eren immediately insisted on apologizing profusely, or actually even blamed Levi's shitty hearing, or _further even_ just changed the subject and never mentioned this again. But it's insulting that Eren does none of this, which is basically another way of saying he has some sort of death wish.

"I'm sorry, were you too slow to not get that? That's funny since your mom was pretty quick last night."

Levi is not hearing words as he stares at Eren's completely oblivious face, looking as if he has no fucking clue what he just said to Levi. If this was some sort of joke, Levi was having none of it.

He steps up close to Eren, grabbing his uniform collar, pulling his face down harshly to his level, and speaking in the lowest most threatening voice he can muster. "Listen here, you little piece of shit," he growls into Eren's face, and Levi can see his eyes falter for just a second. "If you think these juvenile jokes are somehow revenge for earlier, just know you are going to be one sorry fuck."

They are interlocked in a time space continuum of intense staring that's only interrupted by an uneasy gulp in Eren's throat and then an exaggerated cough, and the two of them turn to see a customer waiting in front of the counter, eyeing them awkwardly.

Levi reluctantly lets go and shoves Eren away as he goes to the cash to greet the customer with a bitter smile. He's only half paying attention as he punches in the order because right now he's beyond infuriated. He's wondering what in the hell this bitch was doing on his break to cause such an irritating change of personality.

If he's expecting answers, he's not going to get them anytime soon as another stream of customers begins to inconveniently fill the store. But Levi's never one to walk away from a battle unfought.

He's not very quiet when he hustles Eren around, barking things like "Is that sausage coming up yet?" or "Do you like staring at buns that much?" And although Eren doesn't respond, Levi knows he can hear perfectly well because he flinches after every comment and his movements become more and more robotic. Levi doesn't care that customers are listening, in fact that's all the better. It makes Eren look even more mortified, especially when he's placing the food on the counter and Levi leans over to whisper in his ear—quiet enough to be intimate, but loud enough for the customer in front to hear—"Thanks for bringing over such a _large_ wiener." Eren's ears burn and it's a win for Levi every time.

"Isn't this sexual harassment?" Eren whispers harshly after Levi might have accidentally on purpose grabbed his ass while reaching for a cardboard container underneath the counter.

"Is it now?" Levi questions, after mulling over the bills and change in his hands as he hands it to a customer. "Tell that to your mother."

Eren is taken aback once more, and probably decided from then on that any rebuttal is futile.

The day goes on without another one of Eren's comebacks, and Levi's creativity has just about run dry. He figures Eren should have learned his lesson by now about not fucking around with him, and it's a wonder he hasn't properly told Levi off or gone to Erwin yet. Although, he had to admit it was pretty amusing poking fun at Eren's masculinity for a bit in front of strangers. He hadn't intended to go as far as he had, but he wouldn't be surprised if the kid asked for another shift as soon as this one was over.

Eren's shift is over too quickly at 5 before Levi's is, saying something about it being his first day and Erwin doesn't want him closing the store yet. So he leaves Levi by himself, who waves a mocking goodbye and Eren stares at him like he's quietly planning his murder. Levi just brushes it off because he doesn't plan on seeing this kid again and even if he does, it's not like Eren seems very threatening.

Levi is just about to complete his 10-hour day—which he thinks is complete overkill even with excessively long and illegitimately taken breaks—and by the time he's finished cleaning everything up in the back, it's way past closing time at 8. He signs out and says a half-assed goodbye to Erwin, who tells Levi to close his door on the way out, probably because he's been looking at porn all day on his computer since Levi has yet to see him set foot once outside of his office since this morning.

He's about to leave out the back exit, but decides he'll take another thing of fries for the trip back home, and grabs some shitty overcooked leftovers on the backburner. He's making his way out the front of the store when something roughly grabs his shirt and pulls him aside.

Levi looks over. "Shit, what the fuck, Eren. What are you still doing here? Didn't you finish like three hours ago?" He must have been hiding in the back corner where Levi couldn't see him, otherwise he definitely would have just gone over and kicked him out. Either physically or with more verbal harassment.

However, Levi's slightly taken aback when he catches Eren's tongue dart out to lick his lips like he's thirsting for something and then says in a low voice that Levi wasn't expecting to hear, "I've been waiting here."

He tries to pull his arm out of Eren's hold, but his grip is surprisingly strong. It's actually kind of grating on Levi's skin. "Why would you waste your time here? Just go home."

Levi doesn't know what he was expecting, although some compliance would be nice for once. But what he gets instead is a harsh pull into the corner and then shoved on top of a table, landing flat on his back and knocking his fries to the floor.

"Ow! That fucking hurts! And I was going to eat those, you shithead."

His eyes grow wide as Eren's hands are suddenly placed on either side of him on the table, and Eren's body leans disturbingly close over him. If this is another one of his weird as fuck personality shifts, this one is definitely freaking Levi out.

Eren is shivering a bit as he leans forward, and Levi sinks himself into the table as Eren breathes over him, "You got me like this, Levi."

He's confused and staring into Eren's now recognizably lust-driven eyes, and he narrows his own eyes in disbelief. "Like what exactly."

Eren takes hold of Levi's hands and brings them up and above his head on the table, lacing through his fingers with vice-like grip. "You didn't see my boner throughout the day, did you?"

Levi is tempted to ask, _boner what boner?_, but he figures he wasn't even paying much attention, being too distracted with churning out sex pun after sex pun for his own personal amusement. And look where it's gotten him.

"You got stiff from a couple of jabs at your wiener? What are you, a teenager?" Levi decides to ignore the fact that he might have fondled Eren more than once as well, and takes this time to squint at Eren's face in the dark. It's hard because the lights are already turned off and he hurriedly says, "Wait, you're not really a teenager, are you."

Eren laughs and gets up onto the table on his knees as he hovers fully over Levi's body. "I'm not a teenager," Eren says with a knowing smile, and Levi feels a strange tinge of relief. "Do you want me even more now?"

It's when Eren is leaning his face in towards Levi's a little too close for comfort that Levi finally begins to realize and panic and flail under Eren's grasp. "You're not being serious right now, are you? We're still in the store, for god's sake."

"Yeah, so? You wanna go outside in public?"

Levi grins. "Yeah, why not? Have your every noise loud and clear for everyone to hear?" It's a false sense of confidence that Levi is willing to project if it means getting Eren the fuck off of him.

His swelling ego thinking he's going to get out of this gets flattened almost immediately when Eren's smirk doesn't leave his face and he's practically singing, "How about we do that if you can manage to flip me over?"

It's arrogant and derisive and completely uncalled for, and Levi's fury hits him full blast once more with that simple statement. He's trying to wriggle his wrists out of Eren's hold, but they're locked in unexpectedly tight, and Eren moves forward to kiss him on the lips in another rude underhanded distraction.

But despite the number of flags going off in Levi's brain, he finds himself leaning up into the kiss, caressing Eren's lips with his own, and melting into them. Even though they're clumsy, they're soft and youthful and full of vigor, and their mouths open at the same time to let more of each other in. Levi's tongue begins to lick playfully against Eren's, being unintentionally provocative after Eren seems too hesitant for his liking. But then his breath hitches when lips suddenly clamp down on his tongue and suck without warning, and it takes all of Levi's will not to gasp and pant like he wants more. And it's these kinds of unanticipated things that make Levi crave for something he knows he shouldn't be craving for. It's been too long and Eren is too inciting.

He somehow forgets all about struggling, especially when Eren leaves his mouth to trail lips and wetness down his jaw and around his neck, nipping at the skin and leaving numerous open-mouthed kisses that force shudders up and down Levi's spine. The hot breath wafting over him makes him momentarily fine with the fact that he's on the bottom, fine with the fact that he's the one being swept away, and fine that this someone (who's definitely not a teenager but definitely younger than him) is the one making him feel like this on top of a fast food restaurant table. That is until—

"Giving up already?" Eren's voice cuts through teasingly and wakes Levi up from the dreamlike reverie he was momentarily lost in. He almost doesn't want to admit that that's the only reason why he begins to wretch his arms spastically again.

"No. There is no way in hell you are going to be on top," Levi says obstinately, gritting his teeth and willing himself to not stare at Eren's glistening lips, full and wet and red with stimulation. "And try to keep it down. Erwin is still here, in case you didn't know."

"I know," Eren says with an enticing flick of his hair that makes his bangs droop sensually over his eyes. "I also know you're SAUSAGE was pretty hard earlier, wasn't it?"

Levi jolts when Eren practically yells out that word, echoing throughout the store, and Levi begins to feel his heartbeat pound.

"What the hell are you doing!? Are you trying to get us both killed?"

Eren grazes his teeth along Levi's collarbones, lapping at the edges as he says again, "Don't worry, I'm sure your SCHNITZEL gets off to this. Am I right?"

Levi is lost for words at Eren's audacity, glancing at the far end of the store for a sign of Erwin, or the flick of the lights suddenly turning on, or even the sound of a door slamming from the back. They're going to get caught because Eren is being a fucktard right now, and all Levi wants to do is hurry up and get off of this goddamn table.

But he's too lost in these thoughts to realize that Eren has already let go of his hands because he suddenly feels his pants being undone and pulled roughly off of his legs, leaving him bare and in the worst possible position to be caught in. It's slightly humiliating and he doesn't feel like being the only one compromised, so he reaches for Eren's belt and he almost has it off when both of his wrists are grabbed again.

"Leave it," Eren growls in an almost amusingly threatening tone. "I can do it myself."

It doesn't make Levi any less resistant to taking Eren's pants off and he quickly undoes the last of his belt buckle. "I don't care," Levi says, "And as a side note, you can take everything you just said and shove it up your ass."

Eren only lets Levi push his pants down to around his mid-thighs before he's giving a glare and saying with a disgustingly smug look on his face, "There's going to be some ass-shoving tonight, but it's going to be up _your_ ass."

This should have been mental preparation enough, but it still catches Levi by surprise when a finger suddenly pokes at his asshole and then pushes itself in without regard. It's sliding in deeper and probing along the walls curiously, the tightness and the weirdness contribute to the shock that prevent Levi from saying anything. The only thoughts that race through his mind are wondering how in the world he was reduced to this so easily and so quickly, currently being incapable of moving let alone retaliating back as Eren's finger strokes around inside him. He's still not entirely convinced Eren knows what he's doing, but Levi begins to buck his hips a little anyway, weak to the want.

It's when Eren sticks in a second finger that Levi finds himself jerking more than a little. Eren curls and wiggles around inside him so much that his ass has successfully been made horribly sensitive, and Levi finds himself leaning into the fingers and wanting Eren to just shove them all the way in. But Eren doesn't do this, and instead adds a third finger to better stretch him so he can be ready for the outcome that Levi is not so sure he's as against anymore if this is the feeling that Eren's fingers are already giving him.

He's feeling turned on but not nearly generous enough to give in as he reaches forward and probes his fingers around Eren's ass, pressing into his entrance before Eren can have a single word in.

"Hey, stop! Ah—" he starts to say after, but it's too late.

Levi's rubbing his finger, and adding a second, into a shivering Eren in an attempt at mutual feel-good (and definitely not revenge) as he sees Eren's face above him twitch in something more akin to surprise and less so of pain. Levi feels the movement inside his own ass falter as he looks for what makes Eren grunt or suck in a needy breath. It's only until one particular jab of Levi's fingers that Eren hangs his head and opens his mouth with an outtake of breath and a hushed whine in the back of his throat. When Levi keeps at it, he finally rips a moan from Eren's lips and his body involuntarily shudders.

"That was a nice sound," Levi jeers, even though he's beginning to get a little frustrated himself, and semi-wishes Eren would just start moving his fingers inside him again.

That remark must have sparked something in Eren because he starts vigorously poking around Levi's insides again as if remembering what he was supposed to be doing, making Levi cringe and twitch once more with the sensation.

And then, "Hahh-ahh!" Levi half-yells as his body tenses up from the curling of Eren's fingers against the skin of that particular spot. He's only barely aware of the tight embrace that Eren's ass has around his own fingers.

They're challenging each other with every shaky push and determined prod into the other's ass, wanting just as much to break the other person as they are getting lost in their own senses. It's only until Eren is pulling out that Levi notices he somehow already has a condom on and his heart stops for a second.

"Fuck no," Levi says between pants as he begins to push away at Eren's chest. "_Fuck you_. Why the hell do you already have a condom on? Were you wearing that shit all day?"

But Eren grips his thigh with one hand and grasps at his leaking cock with the other, intent on using his rough strokes as yet another distraction that Levi is too turned on to reject. And Levi succumbs because his cock is throbbing and aching and feels so good in Eren's hand.

"I put it on just now," Eren says with a laugh and breathing just as hard. "You were too distracted by my amazing fingering."

Levi wants to say something when he feels Eren position himself at his hole, and he wants to swear or yell or complain, but is instead reduced to nothing as Eren shoves himself in. The intrusion is harsh and violent and the only reason why he can just barely stand it is because he's gripping onto Eren's shirt like his life depends on it. He feels Eren's hips against his, twitching with the need to move but restraining himself that Levi is thanking god for.

Eren is gasping a little as he says, "Y-You… You're tight—ahh… and you're hugging, sucking me in so… nghhah." Eren suddenly bucks into him involuntarily, and Levi yelps in pain as he struggles to breathe.

"Don't—Don't fucking do that," it takes all of his will to say, and he's just trying to concentrate on relaxing all of his muscles because he doesn't trust Eren to hold on for much longer.

After a bit, Eren starts stroking Levi again, presumably after getting tired or bored or _desperate _for them to get on with it. Levi is squeezing his eyes shut and cursing Eren's every fibre of being because his touching is making him clench his muscles instead of relax them. He can't stop the incredibly warm feeling building up in his lower abdomen, and he's so fed up that he finally shouts at Eren, not caring that his voice carries through the walls or out onto the street.

"Fuck me, _fuck me!_"

And Eren doesn't wait another second as he pulls himself back and plunges into Levi with unleashed force. It's frenzied and impatient and Levi doesn't blame him. In fact, he wants more with every push against his body because Eren's cock fills him up with such delicious heat that feels more and more addicting as time goes on.

He's shaking and convulsing all over, and he's not sure if he's breathing or moaning or both. But it doesn't seem important right now as he bucks himself shamelessly, only wanting Eren's next thrust to go deeper and further and harder into him than the last. He can't think straight except for vague thoughts of wishing Eren would hurry up and come first, but that doesn't even seem to be an option as he feels Eren's hand on him and spreading around the liquid that seeps from the head of his dick, and he knows he's not going to last much longer like this.

Eren's pace quickens inhumanely fast and he pants uncontrollably over Levi, saliva falling down the sides of his mouth. Levi really badly wants to reach up and lick it off, but finds he can barely move with Eren pounding into him and shaking the table dangerously beneath them. The coil in Levi's stomach grows too tight to bear and he hopes that the circling of his arms around Eren's neck will be signal enough that he's about to go, not trusting the sounds coming out of his mouth to be anything less than coherent.

He's completely wrapped up in pleasure as he releases himself and comes, pulling Eren in close in the process. The shocks of ecstasy run up and down his body as he just barely hears Eren moan from the clenching of his ass around his dick. He hears a chanting of his name and a pressure on top of his open lips as his gasps for breath are silenced by Eren's mouth.

The thrusts slow to a dull push-and-pull as Eren finishes, Levi being not quite sure if Eren came before or after he did. But it doesn't even matter because he's tired as hell and thinking is taking up far too much brain power. The only thing that he _can_ think of and is pulling at his mind to ask is how this all even started in the first place.

"What the hell did you do on your break?"

Eren doesn't answer him and is instead fiddling with the condom before laying his head on Levi's chest in a tired slumber. Levi hears a squish sound hit the floor.

"Did you just drop that thing on the floor?" he demands incredulously because he might just be hearing things due to the haze of post-orgasmic bliss, but finds his answer when Eren doesn't say anything. He can't believe he'll have to wash this table all over again after this, and then have to possibly deal with spilled semen on the floor.

"It was Jean," Eren says randomly, as if this clears up the questions and the mess currently at war in Levi's head.

Levi is looking at the spread of hair splayed over his chest as Eren adamantly looks away to the side. "…Is that an answer to my first question or my second question."

Eren ignores him. "On my break, I called him up and he said I should fight fire with fire."

Levi recalls the sudden attack of mother jokes and whatnot, and is currently debating on whether he should kill Eren now or after he cleans up this mess. "Your fire wasn't very good," Levi states, deciding on the latter.

"Shut up."

"Your wiener was good though."

"Oh my god, stop." Eren hides his head a little on Levi's chest and it makes him have the strangest urge to reach down and grab Eren's cock.

"Don't tell me you wanted to work here just to indulge your dirty dick talk fetish?" Levi is trying to keep from laughing because he's held it in practically all day.

And it's a weird afterthought, but he can see something within new kid Eren, something that holds promise for the rest of his days (amusement?) (excitement?) (frustration?), at least until Levi decides to get the fuck out of this job. Though for some reason, he doesn't regret working here nearly as much as he had before and perhaps he'll prolong the quit date.

"I didn't know it was a fetish," Eren replies unusually truthfully and acting shy even though Levi knows there's something fiery within him. "…Until now, that is."

Levi's resistance fades and he laughs out loud, feeling Eren squirm on top of his shaking body. He ignores Eren's demands of why he was laughing and accusations of making fun of him. All Levi can do is wipe the mirth from his eyes as he regards Eren with the most serious look he can muster.

"Welcome to Wienerschnitzel, Eren."

* * *

**if you think this is a lot of sex puns, just know that this is my daily life**


End file.
